The Years that Time Forgot
Time heals old wounds. So they say.
Ive known this to be true enough in my life thus far. Many a damaged relationship has magically transformed and renewed itself given enough time. Resentments and hurts seem to fade, given enough time. How much time? Well sometimes weeks, sometimes days, sometimes months. Rarely has it taken years, but maybe the odd one. Its even somewhat of a let down when the scene that I had been practicing in my head for when I saw ‘that person’ all flies out the window when I do eventually bump into them and instead of the witty, curt one-liner , out comes a feeble, ‘hi’ with a smile. On occasion Ive even been known to stop for a chat. God knows there has been the even more surprising situation when we’ve even planned for coffee – and had it!
So yes, I would have to agree that time, in all its patient magical wonder does indeed heal old wounds.
My question, dear time, is what have you done with my school years? Did you forget them? Are you still working on it? Will you EVER get around to it? It has been 20 years. I know this because I just received notification about my 20 year school reunion.
Its fair and dead accurate to say that school was not my favorite time. I actually fucking hated it. Passionately. There were nice moments and some nice people but overall it scarred me. Im disappointed that I am still feeling such powerful emotions about it. Im disappointed but mainly Im surprised. Why have the school years remained so raw? Thing is I didnt know they were until now… until getting the facebook invite and being pulled back hard by the scruff of my ugly school collar by terms such as “partay”, “boarders”, even “pub”. I love parties. I loved my fair share of boarders. And I love the pub. So why?
I have seen a few people over the years and its honestly been wonderful and truly amazing to catch up and think we still look the same! (even though to the naked eye…we so dont). And I have seen a few others and regretted it terribly. But what I think hurts the most, is thinking that we have all grown up, thinking that school days were just that – and that all the bitchy horrible stuff should be left within the school gates. And thinking that we all think that! Only to be dismally disappointed and hurt by old ‘friends’ who after so long, after 20 years of life experience, are still, well, at school.
So, do I go and face ‘time’ in the face? Is that when it all melts away? Is it upon contact that the heart re-opens? Do I hope for the smile and the hi? Or, do I instead let the event pass me by and leave the past where it belongs?
Hmmmmm. Its a tough one.